As my birthday quickly approaches, I spend more time contemplating and re-evaluating my growth which falls into three categories: mind, body, and soul. Hours of self-therapy, and journal entries(via email bot), I’ve witnessed a jump in my mental fitness and clarity. I made a conscious effort to grow and improve annually based on the saying, “you aren’t living if you aren’t growing.” I’ve had my fair share of ups and downs, and every lesson I’ve learned I carry with me as wisdom to share it with those who may not know. This is me sharing a little of that…
The process of evolution is never-ending and having patience and giving yourself grace is learned quicker than expected. It takes an open- mind and room for error to process your hiccups, take accountability, and change behavior, an intentional act one has to do for growth to emerge. Unfortunately, I didn’t learn that lesson as quickly as I would like but, I’m grateful I knew when I did.
Sharing has always been my strong suit, so I decided to share these lessons with you to guide you through your growing pains. Here is a list of five lessons I’ve learned so far.
High Expectations Lead to Heartbreak
In the past year, I had expectations, unrealistic expectations. Don’t get me wrong, it is good to anticipate, but let it be real and let it be on the low end, this way you minimize the damage. This mantra is a hard habit to break, trust me, I constantly have to be present and be intentional about my thoughts and expectations, in as much as it is hard it is necessary when it comes to protecting my peace and energy. One quote that I use to like is “treat people how you want to be treated.” Gratefully, I’ve come to understand that it’s so wrong, we shouldn’t treat people the way they treat us, even though getting back at someone is sweet, it is wrong, the Good book advice we Love everyone including our enemies.
Not everyone comes from a wholesome family that is affectionate, it’s barely absurd to expect someone from a non-wholesome affectionate family to reciprocate that love. I’ve discovered a lot more is happening in my life when I didn’t expect anything from anyone, my friend will say “go with the vibe” and it’s been working perfectly. Switching my focus on the expectations that I set for myself is fulfilling, and that’s what I advise you to try if you’re in this bubble.
It’s Not Them It’s Me
Re-read that again. It is about you and not them. Things aren’t going your way, one thing after another kept happening, and you seem you’ve lost control, that overwhelming head space_danger zone. My bad day has nothing to do with those around me; why do I say this? Well, people will live the way they want whether they know I’m upset with them or not. I quickly learned that everything isn’t always about me. We’re all consumed with our own lives, and I strongly doubt that strangers are plotting to make my life miserable. The majority of the time, they (they meaning people you may or may not know) don’t even know why you’re upset. If they aren’t mad, then why should I be? When you figure out, oh this is happening to me, then you handle any situation appropriately.
Meet People Where They Are and NOT Where I Want Them to Be
When I thought of this point I couldn’t help but smile, you know, no matter your level of consciousness, you can’t force others to feel your “vibe.” No matter how hard you want them to. You can be an informative friend or lead by example. Still, if people aren’t in the space to meet you where you are mental, there is absolutely nothing you can do but practice patience or give that person the necessary distance to play catch up. Figuring out ways to obtain consistent peace throughout your life is imperative to let some things go, and sometimes that means people. When we have the mentality of knowing that people come into your life for seasons or a lifetime can do wonders on your mental space; practicing this can help you learn acceptance. For the absolute peace and happiness, that I am enjoying now, I had to apply these constantly. It is working on a different level. This is an example of the saying “know this and know peace”.
Change Your Mood. Change Your Environment
Do you ever find yourself saying, “I need a vacation?” most of the time, which means “I need a new environment.” The two things I love the most apart from seeing movies are taking walks with my favorite persons and staying in my headspace and meditating or praying. When I am alone, I enjoy laying down and wide thinking, piecing up things in my mind, and figuring things out. I might be on my bed, but my mind is in a different world on its own. A different environment allows me to think clearly about specific decisions that I need to make. Research shows when you are alone with a good mindset, you make great decisions.
The most important lesson I have learned is how important my personal relationship with God is. I use of feel because I pray and read the Bible ,temptation won’t come knocking. It did and I wasn’t on a solid ground. I had to learn why my salvation is important and how my personal and intimate moments with Jesus Christ mattered. Obeying God doesn’t cost, it pays. I am enjoying the spirit and I know for a fact God wants me to succeed. Pursue your salvation with diligence and watch how things fall into places for you. Just as we are intentional about other areas of our lives, be intentional about God too. No best feeling of fulfilment and pure Joy than in the presence of God. Remember, it is more than Sunday service routine and status Bible posting.
A little sticky Note; We are born into a tribe of other humans with different perspectives, morals, values, and outlooks on the world. It is important to respect everyone’s space and thoughts, not everyone will reason the way you do and that’s okay. Loyalty is key, for family and friends bonds. As I figure out more about life, I understand I won’t always agree on how others live their lives. Family members, friends, acquittances, and co-workers may or may not have the same views. Making mental notes of who I spend my energy and time with, helps me manage family and friends relationships. With the idea that my thoughts are what radiates out to everyone around me, I am always conscious.
So that’s it guys, my secret lesson list of amazing differences. I hope that you find these lessons useful to you. You can reach me by sending a DM on my Instagram page Steewritesblog, concerning anything, I’ll love to hear from you all.
I’m excited and open and ready to receive what this new year will bring, with many more life lessons. 🙂.