Maybe you have an idea on this or you do not (that’s okay) , feeling angry often and allowing it get to an extreme degree, affects your relationship with people, far or around you. It also affects the person psychological well being and the persons’ quality lifespan.

I can remember my mom at some point telling me, I have to work on this anger issues I’m having fast, because when a man comes into my life, it’s going to make him have double thoughts about sticking to me_her words actually, and it is the painful truth, i really needed to work on it, I won’t lie….

Basically, because of that I kept praying and trying to manage this whole anger issue, honestly it’s not easy, I even lashed out at a friend yesterday and I shouldn’t have done that. it was not necessary , I could have spoken calmly and still pass the information across. Starting this whole process I would say I am a lot better than 10 years ago and that’s progress on my end.

ANGER! is a response to a frustrating or an overwhelming or threatening situation, most especially situations that is out of your control.


toddler with red adidas sweat shirt
Photo by mohamed abdelghaffar on

I can say anger is an emotion that is developed when one is sad, lonely or even scared. It is an emotion that may seem to arise from nowhere, thus the outburst.

Anger can cause a physical reaction to your body too, it releases adrenaline, hormones that prepares one for danger or conflict. “fight or flight)

The physical reaction effects are :

  • Faster breath
  • Rapid heartbeat
  • Clenching fists and jaw
  • Tension through the body
  • Sweating and trembling
human fist
Photo by Pixabay on

Anger Management

Anger management involves you developing a skill or skills to help you with recognizing the signs of anger and handling the outburst positivity.

One of the skill to develop is ” coping with anger”. Anyone can develop this skill, just ensure you learn to control your feelings with time, patience and persistence.

Ways to Manage Anger

Remember, anger is an emotion, so you are capable of managing and even controlling it. This way you’re mentally stable and you have a better relationship with people around you.

Here are 3 ways to manage this anger. Do this and see changes… I did this 3 things and I feel a lot better today. Trust me.

  1. Recognize the stage (early stage)  of anger.
  2. Take that time out
  3. Apply some tips to control the anger

Recognize the Signs of Anger

Let’s be honest with ourselves, in the moment of being angry, it can be difficult, I mean very difficult to control it…

However, detecting the emotion early can help to manage the out pour or lashing.

Example: I know my sister body shames and criticize  every thing I do, she literally pushes me to the edge, to avoid getting very angry with her, I avoid having any conversations with her and if she starts the critic cycle and I’m about to get upset, I quietly talk to myself and I leave that environment.

Detecting anger emotion early helps a person redirect their thought process to a more productive place
adult anger art black background
Photo by Pixabay on

Take that time out

Due to a recent situation , I had to take this point (have a time out), gave my self space to really work on myself, and it helped a great deal.. Whenever you feel that anger building up due to things happening around you, little things keep triggering you, then take a step out of that space and find your solace and calm again…

What can also help is been vocal about what is really going on with you, (it can be therapeutic). Talking about my thoughts towards the anger helped me defuse the whole situation and more clearly identify the cause of the intense feelings. My friend Franca Ibedu was one of the people I spoke to and honestly it worked.

Applying some tips to manage the anger

knowing when to manage that anger can be bliss. It can help to calm a person and distract you for a while to process your thoughts in a constructive way. Different tips works for different folks, just get at least one tip that works for you.


  • Take slow and deep breaths :This tip is my go to rip, it helps a lot, like I always say “exhale the bullshit,_inhale fresh air “.Natutally, breathing in and out helps a tense situation.
  • Mindfulness :Mindfulness involves meditation (I do not mean over thinking or deep thinking) you can pick a verse in the bible and meditate on it and watch it give life to your whole existence.
  • Creative distraction : This third point, is where I’m at. I didn’t know how to focus my writing, taking a time out, I’ve figured out how to and it’s helping a lot. Some distractions could be reading a book, drawing, writing(like I do), or even dancing to your favorite music. Just do anything (productive) as a distraction.

What the bible says about Anger!

This verses really helped me. I know it will help you too. Feed on them…

  1. Ephesians 4:31-32: Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice
  2. Psalms 103:8: The lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
  3. Proverbs 19:19a: A man of great wrath will pay the penalty.
  4. Philippians 2:13 : For it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasures.
  5. Proverbs 4:23: Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the spring of life.

PS :This is ESV (English Standard Version)

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Yours Truly, Stee ❤👒


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  1. My friends need go read this… Thank you for sharing 😀😎

  2. Eseosa Osemwengie

    Really interesting, noted a few points I will use as I continue to work on being a better me.

    1. I’m glad, 😃. Thank you

  3. Wow go girl ❤️🥰.
    Keep making me proud.

    1. Awwwww.girl…thank you so much ❤💪

  4. Thanks so much for sharing this

  5. Awwwwn my girl, thank you for this beautiful piece and helping people become better. ❤️

    1. Thank you my sweet sister 😍❤

  6. Nice words

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